Why So Silent?

Despite occasional reminders from someone who shall remain unnamed (yet is a dear friend), I have resisted returning to publishing on this blog for … um, nearly 1500 days. Why? The reasons are difficult to explain. I have come up with three. Some probably had more influence than others, and maybe they worked together. My bet is the last one is the biggest culprit. Preservation of Sanity. The mass amounts of web news I was consuming threatened my sanity. I essentially had to give up on media for a while. Rather than use the news to simply inform me, I allowed it to disturb my peace. Fasting from media included many blogs, which caused me to wonder if my own blog was guilty of robbing peace from other people. I promise to be always cognizant of the power of God and His Eternal Mercy in future blog posts. October 11. That date changed our lives. Nearly three years ago my sisters daughter died. The simple fact of the matter is I stopped caring about a lot of things (not just blogging). If it wasn’t directly related to my family, I didn’t care about it. People say that writing about our grief is therapeutic, and it is. I did write about it. But I wrote it in a journal and not online. Laziness. I am a lazy person. My father is able to work from the wee hours of the morning to the late hours of night. He is a veritable whirlwind of productivity! I am not. I have taken Chesterton’s ‘holy idleness’ and made a vice out of it. Yes, I have inertia and my creative powers have sat idle for a very long time. They are resisting with the weight of a mountain to my attempts at stirring them. I will win. Because in addition to being lazy I’m stubborn. And there you have it, *eyebrow raise*, I will do better.